Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
NVC is a practical, simple tool which carries an immense invitation into honesty, connection and compassion towards oneself and others. More than a cognitive tool, it is an awareness practice. It brings awareness to the feelings and sensations alive in oneself to inform us if our needs are met or longing to be experienced.
It's a simple tool to move beyond judgements and connect with each other’s humanity at any given moment, no matter what people say or do. This allows us to connect with the motivation behind someone's actions or words. On the level of needs there is no conflict. Conflicts only happen on the level of strategies. I might not like the strategy yet I can connect to the need behind the strategy. On the level of needs life happens. Needs are universal, we all have the same needs. When we see each other's needs behind the actions, understanding, compassion, trust and a willingness to care for one and other can be re-established.
NVC is based on the principles of nonviolence - the natural state of compassion when no violence is present in the heart. NVC begins by assuming that we are all compassionate by nature and that violent strategies—whether verbal or physical—are learned behaviours taught and supported by the prevailing culture. Think of punishment, reward, shame and guilt induction.
People who practice NVC have found greater authenticity in their being and communication, increased understanding, deepened relationships and more connection to life energy, to motivation. NVC is used all over the globe, in families, in workplaces, by individuals, for conflict resolution, to create healing, in jails, war zones... etc.
Marshall Rosenberg
NVC was developed by Dr. Marshall B. Rosenberg. Growing up in an inner-city Detroit neighbourhood Marshall Rosenberg was confronted daily with various forms of violence, verbal and physical. That raised an important question in him which he based his work on. "What gets in to us that enables us to enjoy violence and to engage in violence because of things like skin colour, names and religions...?” At the same time he was inspired and nourished by a sufficient number of people who showed him another way. They showed him how to give compassionately. They were an example and inspiration showing him that violence isn't really our nature. He found that what people really want is to contribute to life, to growth and well-being. Wanting to explore the causes of violence and what can be done to reduce violence, he chose to study clinical psychology and received his Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from the University of Wisconsin in 1961. It was not the place where he found answers to his questions. These came later when he was a student of the humanist psychologist Carl Rogers and studied different sources of knowledge from east and west. Marshall Rosenberg developed Nonviolent Communication in the early 1960s. Now it's used all over the globe for purposes ranging from conflict resolution in families to war-zones to self-development and healing.